Imagine if you are or have been in any of the following situations in life?
- You have had a bad day at office and your colleague or boss has just given you a negative feedback when you expected a positive one or in simple words back stabbed you with office politics.
- You just had a terrible fight with your spouse or boyfriend because he/she didn’t do what you had expected..
- You just broke up with your boyfriend.
- You are having a tough time managing your finances and you know that you will have a tough time paying rent the next month..
- You have failed in your goals because of somebody's else's faults ( It's always the other person fault right?)
Or basically you are right now in a situation where you can see no way out and perhaps it's not your fault at all but still you are in a deep deep hole…
So what will you do or have probably done in the past?
There are four options: Cry or burst in tears, share your frustration with your friend, throw a fit in front of your spouse or go to the bar and drink it out..
More often than not, I would myself opt for option 2, though occasionally I have opted for other options too.
I recently finished reading a book on Nadia Comaneci ( for people who don't know her, she is probably the greatest gymnast ever and the first person to score a perfect 10 in 1976 Olympics). She mentioned very beautifully that she had always been a quick learner throughout her life. Even at a young age, she would never cry and listen carefully to what her parents would want her to do in order for her to go to a zoo or get another treat rather than crying or bursting in a fit ( Oh how I wish every child could be like that;) )
The reason she has depicted very beautifully:
"It's very important to channel your frustration or anger in your performance instead of wasting in on less productive feelings. Friend, No one ever accomplishes your dreams for you, regardless of tears, fits or any other ways of manipulation. They can give us support, ideas, directions , but in the end, the reality is that you have to do it alone. You must figure out your own destination and the best route to get there because no one else knows the way."
This line got me thinking and as I reflected back upon my past, in whatever limited cases I was able to follow the above, I was able to accomplish my goals.
Gossiping, crying, bursting in fits, drinking alcohol are just temporary solutions to make you happy for a second and but if you have to really feel happy at the end of the day, it is very important to know that only you can make a difference to your current situation and no one else.
So if your boss did something wrong, go ahead and work on that dream business of yours on weekend or make a resume for another job instead of sitting in a bar. If your boyfriend broke up, go ahead and take the long awaited dream trip to your favorite country - you have every reason to pamper yourself. If you just had a fight with your spouse, go ahead and go the spa or golf club that you always wanted, as it is your spouse wouldn't want to talk to you for the next few hours. Give yourself a chance to calm yourself. Or maybe if you are in a deep hole, find a way to get out of it rather than getting stuck there and wishfully thinking about your prince charming.
Always remember, there is no better friend than yourself in times of need and you a have two choices in your life, either to cry like a baby or man up to face the situation like a true champion.